2nd Week of My Semester, and I Have Some Stuff to Tell

Hey Guys, I know I said that I would release a vlog about my trip to the Alliance Management Institute and Denver last week, but vlogging is hard. Some people make it so easy. I couldn’t go through my entire footage without getting motion sickness. I know, my stomach is weak. I have to go through the footage again and stomach through the ridiculousness. Then, edit everything together. It may or may not turn out well.

In the meantime, I just wanted to update you guys with some things going on in my life. First, last week I started my last semester of school! It’s incredible to see how much I’ve grown in the past four years, and all the work I put in coming to this point. This semester, instead of going to classes, I headed to the church office and officially began my internship. I will be spending about 25 hours a week working with the Director of Missions and on international mission trips. I am also taking a couple of online classes to finish up a general science course and my minor in Family and Human Development. I also work 24 hours a week as a Resident Assistant at a homeless shelter and participate pretty actively in my sorority. This semester is really starting on a good foot. I’ve already had an incredible first week, and it’s felt really meaningful. My goal for my internship is to make the work I do so valuable that the entire system would crumble if I left. Then, they’d have to hire me and pay me. MUAHAHAHA!

Personally, I have been working on getting healthy physically. However, I only worked out 3 days last week and did not eat enough. How am I supposed to gain that last 10 pounds if I’m not staying focused? The goal is to work out 5 times a week, Thursday through Monday. My sister coaches me in Olympic Style Weightlifting. It requires a great deal of mental stamina and focus. I truly love it. If you’re in the East Valley of Phoenix, definitely check her out.

OKAY. Deep breath. The big thing that happened this last week was a break up. Yup. I feel like break ups have happened about annually for me. It’s truly disappointing. It’s honestly why I didn’t put the effort into creating the Vlog and missed a couple of days working out.

I had decided to break up with my boyfriend after 7 months of dating. Something was really eating at me and it was a strange urge I felt needed to happen. After I did it, I immediately had second thoughts. Following that, I spent the next 10 days utterly confused seeking advice from people and just lost about my feelings. My (ex) boyfriend had been so kind and understanding and we even talked a lot about how I was feeling. Guys, he’s truly the example of God’s love. Ladies, find a man who is patient, kind and understanding. We did a lot of talking, and it came down to the fact that I’m not ready for a relationship… still. I’ve had poor experiences with relationships in the past and now I’m a little emotionally drained. I can’t put in the effort nor do I want to. My ex is truly my best friend and he’s been really understanding of how I’m feeling. I still love him, but unfortunately, I can’t be his girlfriend. While, I could have stayed in the relationship, I know that it wouldn’t have been fair to either of us to put us through that. And in the end, I can’t figure out “me” if I’m too busy with “we”.

So I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and focus on continuing to figuring out what it really means to find my identity in God. It’s such a church term, and I really need to define what it truly means. If you know, leave me a comment and some verses that have helped you figure it out!

On my ending note, I wanted to end it on a happy note, I am now a brand ambassador for Bangs Shoes! CYNTHIA, WHAT’S THAT? Great question, voice inside my head! It is a shoe company whose sole purpose (ha see what I did there?) is to promote living an adventurous life and more importantly supporting entrepreneurs. Every pair of shoes you buy, 20% of the profits goes to help an entrepreneur. Learn more by clicking here!!

Well, that is everything that’s happened so far. I’m excited for the next semester and year. 50 more weeks to go! (49 until Christmas! Yay, Jesus!)